Thursday, December 25, 2014




 
Merry Christmas

From William Samuel:"It is an enormous res-
ponsibility, this book we write--like walking a tightrope between two buildings--a single mis-
statement would plunge us straight to the pavement below.  I have been led down too many primrose pathways to want to do it to others.  "How to's" can become TOO specific, causing people to try to do things exactly the same way which can be self-defeating.  Once I was determined to levitate because St. Catherine levitated when she prayed."


I would like to emphatically join William Samuel with this admonition.  The purpose and intent of my postings was and will always be to highlight the fact that if your childhood was not all that it could have been you are not excluded from the joy of Self-discovery.  I would hope to be given words that will be understood by neophytes, and by those who may be looking for the simple, non-erudite experience.
I simply wish to share my experience, not to tell anyone else HOW to do it for themselves.  








My computer died a couple of weeks ago.  It  took me a while to catch up so I wish you all a very joyful and wondrous Christmas and holiday season.  William Samuel and Sandy’s Christmas pages are so very Childlike and oh so meaningful, particularly so with the Christmas pages.  Do enjoy...and the very best to all to everyone!


Love, Peace and Joy,


email at: dozenrosesca@yahoo.ca

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Vignette on Trusting the Child Heart


 

Vignette on Trusting the Child Heart


It’s a bright and hot sunny day and I’ve been out for an afternoon of bridge.  I walked along the beach with a friend and stopped to pick up a few groceries.  We then went our separate ways.  The trek home from here is uphill all the way and there are three quite steep hills to climb.  The groceries get heavier and heavier and I’m getting warmer and warmer and quite uncomfortable.  There are benches interspersed along the way so I plan to stop at the next opportunity to rearrange my baggage.  The nearest rest area is one that is frequented by street people.  I make my stop there, reorganize my packages and drape a bag over my shoulder and I’m off again.  I’m making good time…one…two…but the steepest hill is still to come.  Determined, I just keep going and I’m on top of the third hill.  I run my hand under the strap on my shoulder and … oh oh! that is NOT my purse strap, it is the bag strap…I must have left my purse on the bench when I stopped!  My first thought is about the ‘vagrants’ that hang out there and what are the chances my purse is still there!  But I remind myself that God is All and nothing can alter … nothing can enter that maketh a lie!




I am standing in front of an apartment building.  A young girl is sitting on the lawn reading a book.  I tell her of my dilemma and ask her if I can leave my bag with her while I go and look for my purse.  She responds yes but then suggests that it might be quicker for her to go and look for the purse and I would wait there to which I happily agree,  She leaves and for what seems a very long time, there is no sign of her return.  For a minute or two, my head intervenes with thoughts of “what were you thinking…telling a stranger that you lost your purse and telling her exactly where the purse was!” but that was just a momentary temptation.  I promptly returned to trusting the Child and sure enough I saw her coming back but I knew she was empty-handed just from her demeanor.



So, I thank her for her kindness and that is when I truly realized my dilemma.  I had no I.D. , no money, no keys!  I was a street person!  I had just been to the bank and had cash in my purse.  Oh, but I was a street person with a bag of groceries! 


I went into a grocery store and asked where the nearest police station was.  It was too far to walk…I couldn’t take a bus…I truly was a street person.  And the Child would never leave me so I had nothing to worry about.



I started thinking of what it might be like…this would be a new adventure…I’ve never been a street person before…I would share my food with them and I would learn something about their lifestyle…Oh, but I bought a huge chocolate bar and I didn’t want to share it so I took it out and started to eat it!  (Well, yes, isn’t that what the child would do?)  Ha!


 Eventually, I thought, well I can’t just stand on the street and fill my face with chocolate, I should go somewhere…but where will I go?  Well, dahhhhhhhh!  I could go home…I could try to get in…so I tuck my chocolate back into the bag and head for home.  Sure, one of the neighbors let me in the building and the Manager opened my apartment door.

Oh now…the big hullabalu…where do I start!  I will have to report all the credit cards and this and that and….I pick up the phone to call my son.  There is a voice mail.  A lady’s voice says: “My name is Mary Kay, I found your purse!”  It was right there on the bench where I left it!


I was amazed when I look back at this event.  Without the Child I would have been in total panic.  It is such a sweet and tender and oh so dear feeling that Love is all there Is.  That like the lily in the field I need not spin or toil.   That I can never be separated from my Good.  That the Child never lets go of my hand.  All is well when you just wrap up in God’s arms.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Dot, Line, Plane, Sphere


Dot, Line, Plane, Sphere

I would like to begin by quoting from"The Child Within Us Lives" by William Samuel:

THE PROGRESSION OF AWAKENING

The progression goes a little like this.  One searches and thinks he has found--and grows arrogant in the finding for a long time, thence to be humbled.
Then he finds again and really knows.
One lives the discovery and proves it.
One keeps going onward and finds the relationships between and the outside. Many people never reach this point because no one has told them or convinced them there is a relationship  between the inside and the quantum outside or that these two are a single one.

One perceives the wholeness of inside because he has found it for himself.
One perceives the relationships between himself inside and the appearances outside,in their increasing detail.  This has been called the web of interrelatedness.  A leaf falls to the earth and the univ verse is shaken.

One comes slowly to know the marvel that will unfold outside from what has already unfolded within himself--and he lives in continuing expectancy of this unfolding in the world.  One speaks

All along this progression, one is faithful to those who have been given to him.  He tells them to go and do the same and instruct their given to do the same.

We  and those who have been given to us become the New Community, the flower of the tree of life.  The Community grows.

The progression happens in linear time "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little.




Much has been written about rediscovering the Child within by remembering and reliving those wonderful days of happy, joyful, unfettered, innocent childhood experiences.  However, mine were oftentimes lonely and worrisome because of my hip problems and partly because I belonged to a staunch Roman Catholic family and went to boarding school away from home.  Somehow, I always knew or expected that somehow I would find my own Child Heart but I rarely thought about how it would come about.



My journey had started some years previous with very basic stuff.  I first made a study of emotions since I didn’t have a clue about them.  Then I started thinking that it was mind that controlled the events of my life.  I tried visualization and deep relaxation and a few forms of meditation but did not find what I was searching for, namely peace of mind!  Got into mind control programs and all kinds of New Age techniques that involved everything from hyperventilating on a bed while a ‘practitioner’ tried to gain control of your mind to fire walking and what have you.  You name it…I tried it!  Some of it was more loving and less controlling but not of it seemed very fruitful.  Then I became a Joel Goldsmith groupie.  We had long periods of what was to them meditation but nothing happened for me and I know that lots of people slept through the whole thing. The teachings were certainly a step above soaking in a locked up vault that you didn’t have the key to but then one day one of the devotees passed me three books of William Samuel’s to read.  She had attended a talk and didn’t get much out of it but passed them on for me to read if I so chose. 



My Heart was touched and I KNEW without a doubt that this was for me!  I was taking long walks in a beautiful park hugging the ocean and felt such peace and tranquility.  The trees, the flowers, the birds were ‘talking to me’.  What I had been trying to achieve through meditation was coming to me effortlessly in the light of day with my eyes wide open! 



I kept reading William’s books and putting it to the test and I wondered about how I would find the Child Heart.  One day I was in that same park watching some really young children playing in the sand and water and oh, they were so free and cheerful and happy and running and skipping and fetching water with a pale and pouring it into a hole than never got full, of course.  And I realized and I KNEW that this was the Child Heart of Me, it was my very own Child Heart.  I went home and wrote the following:





By the Seashore

I am the child who gleefully skips
and tumbles along the beach
Running in gladness, jumping in happiness,
sharing with friends,
tender, pure innocence
Now is the ever-present Allness
providing for every need:
sand to run through fingers and toes,
to mold into amazing shapes
sticks to toss into the water
that dogs may fetch
cool water to splash and use in infinite ways
Living in the joy of the moment
Nothing to be added
Nothing to be removed
I appearing as harmony and perfection,
the Symphony of Life
I felt You in the gentle ocean breeze
in the tide's rhythmic ebb and flow
That Child out there is my very own Being
the Invisible made visible
the Intangible made tangible:
children playing, parents caring,
ships sailing, birds flying
blue sky, warm sun
The place whereon I stand is holy ground
God being God
Aloneness



From that day on the Child has held my hand and has brought me from glory to glory, to play and sing and dance and laugh and live with a joy filled heart.
 Love always finds a way!  It rains equally on the just and the unjust.
The two previous William Samuel posts that I just put up are two of my favorite articles that make it so plain upon the tables that God’s Loving Light comes to us line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little.  We first "get" the dot, then line  and plane and sphere.  And, is as in the great glass pyramid, all its rightful place.  I can never be separated from God and God’s Loving Light, I can never separated from my GOOD!



Tuesday, November 25, 2014


Quotes from "The Child Within Us Lives"
by: William Samuel

In a recent letter, which appears to have done its good works I wrote:  "William Samuel's experience may seem miraculous to you, but that view doesn't exist because of Samuel's ability to change the scene around him.  It exists entirely because of the confident EXPECTATION of GOOD (God) continually Self-confirmed as this experience.  That is, I look for the Good that is present.  I expect to see it and then I see it!  If this is too simple, I'm sorry, it is just that easy.  If one jumps into the river and expects wet, he sees wet.  If one looks at God's earth and expects good, he sees it.  This awareness, the life, is God's viewing.  Long ago I stopped taking account of Bill's seeing anything on his own.  I expect to see God confirmed everywhere-and I do."  So can you.


The mysterious paradox goes something like this:  Ending the ludicrous attempt to manipulate the human scene to suit the me-sense's fanciful lusts (and righteous desires), one finds the scene revealing (confirming) the Scene--and this may very well appear to be a greater manipulation of tangibility than could have been me-dreamed or me-imagined.  Not trying to manipulate so much, we suddenly know what gentle good to do for others--and do it!  This is love in action!  Do you see?  It is difficult to write these things!
 


William Samuel website:   http://www.williamsamuel.com/index.htm



Closer than breathing -
 Nearer than hands and feet


When I identify with my Swan Self (My Child Heart Self) my life is a sweet celestial harmonious symphony.  My instrument is in perfect pitch and in tune with other instruments and with the Conductor. I cannot be separated from my good for I live and move and have my being in God.  I play the joyful notes with as much gusto as the sad sorrowful notes without discrimination and peace follows me wherever I go.

 If I do not take time to keep my instrument in tune and ready to play, I get overly concerned with the notes (the details of my daily life I can quickly find myself in a cacophony of confusion, upset, struggle and strain, fretting and worrying about everything.  I have fallen back into the Ugly Duckling pond of despondency.

I have found that pain can be a major distraction, a great temptation to want to manipulate the human scene, (the Ugly Duckling world).  The more I cling to it the more it clings to me.  It is a trap that can be avoided if I use it as an opportunity to TRUST my Child Heart and be like the lily in the field that does not toil or fret.  I can soon prove that Peace and Love are closer than hands and feet, nearer than breathing.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Quiet Slow World


nicole at nikki hollywood - 1 day ago



Sometimes, here in this big city, I’ll stop and think about home in Aspen. About growing up and the mountains. About the windows and the moonlight on the ground. When I would just sit by the fire circling things I liked in catalogues, like gourmet gift baskets, apple baskets with chocolate covered popcorn, from Harry & David. Or maybe sweaters from Eddie Bauer that I didn’t really want but were the best thing in the catalogue so I circled them anyway, while the quiet snow fell outside. Now it’s so fast all the time. And loud. Traffic and subway stations where there’s a guy behi... more »

Thursday, September 25, 2014


A William Samuel Excerpt





 The following is an excerpt from what was for me an extremely meaningful talk given by William Samuel.  I have transcribed the entire audio tape and would be happy to provide same to anyone who is interested.  (Rose)


"...We were talking bout the honest message, the honest truth message.  The honest truth message, as we said, lies in one that turns one to discover himself within, one that turns one within where the real discoveries are made, to turn within to the secret place, to the holy of holies, to the Shekina and there find the true message.  The beauty of such a message, it seems to me, lies in its fulfilling the function of way showing but doing it void of theory, void of speculation or commentary and it’s a message that doesn’t bind the seeker, it doesn’t induce guilt nor encourage the veneration of the messenger or the messenger’s words.  The childlikeness of such a message encourages one to find the beauty and power and the wonder of his own words and to express the discovered life within.  Such is the work the Child does.  The place is within.  The place is within, within Consciousness, the place is within this very Awareness that listens to these words.  It is not in any scientific metaphysical system and it isn’t in the semantic games we play with the words of others.  If, as is the case with nearly all organized theology, the message speaks primarily of healing and demonstrations and of altered states of consciousness, and all of those peripheral events, such a message can be as stultifying and misleading as it is helpful.  Therefore, it isn’t worthy of identity.  Ultimately, we have done with following the messages of others to become the finder or our own Messiahship…we find our own message.  Salvation lies in this action and in no other.  The first freedom and the last freedom lie in self-discovery.  That discovery is immaculate, untouched by anyone else.  It is a virgin discovery and recognition of deity within and without.  Any message that has one following a personal leader or teacher for anything longer than is absolutely necessary to find the authority that one himself is, is a distorting, thwarting teacher.



 I’m not saying that we don’t follow the instructions of others, that we don’t read or listen to others, that’s what we’re doing right now, for goodness sakes, but the ones to listen to are the ones who tell us that the messenger lies within and that we go there to find it.  Those who speak of levels of awareness, of states and stages of consciousness, of spiritual hierarchies, as though they were outside one’s very own awareness right here and now, are liars from the beginning.  Their teachings confuse the world with false hope and robe the innocent with false pretense.  We are done with that to find the word that is nigh thee, even in thy mouth and in thy heart. 



In this regard, you may have heard me say this before somewhere, but Norman Cousins, with whom I corresponded, editor of the Saturday Review, at one time--Norman Cousins quotes Albert Schweitzer.  Dr. Albert Schweitzer is telling him that inside each person is the real doctor.  “The greatest service any doctor can perform”, Dr. Schweitzer is quoted as saying, “is to stand aside and let the doctor within do the work of healing.”  Yes,  yes…deity within is quite able to tend its own qualities and attributes appearing as tangibility.



I’ve been told by those who first heard these words, “I can’t believe there’s much wisdom in me, I can’t believe that my message is the message and yet everything that one does is predicated on his own words.  The words that one believes most fervently are his own words.  But, since when does Omnipotence, Omniscience and Omnipresence need messengers with messages that point to themselves rather than God and that’s what we’re turning to when we don’t turn to the self within. Where is the leader that is needed to teach the sparrow out there the song imprinted in its heart?  Why, those little birdlings are born and shortly they’re singing and where was the messenger needed?  And where is the teacher that teaches the seed how to grow, or the azalea here how to bloom?  Where is the angelic leader and minister who exhorts the bud to open and give its fragrance to the earth?  Who teaches the animals to prepare for a winter that they have no knowledge of, no intellectual knowledge of.  Why must man, of all creatures, why must man insist on ignorance?  Until he has studied system after system after system after system, finally…finally, only to surrender from the anguish of all of it and when he surrenders from the anguish of all of it he is quick to awaken to the wisdom that is already himself.



Oh boy, there are many messengers abroad on the land.  The one to heed is the one who says to look for one’s own messenger within, and then this, that’s all-important…and then makes it plain on the tables precisely how this is done for one’s self.  And listen, listen, those qualified to do this use their own words, they don’t give you backing-up  references from 100 other sources to try to prove their words to you.  They use their own words and they tell you their own story, which they have lived, and their own story is the proof of their word.



Now see here, we are not messengers.  I certainly don’t claim to be a messenger.  We are the message itself Identity Is.  We can all say “I am Life Itself” and that is what the honest message has been about from the first.  We are Life, not possessors of life, we are wisdom itself, not a personality who may become wise if...if…if… he studies this and that and something else.  Beyond the pale of humanhood and its many instructors lies a perfection already spread over the earth, already the whole and healthy body of God, functioning perfectly in absolute harmony.  I have found the nature of that Joy and I sing its song.   Right now, I’m singing its song.  To whom?  To the selfhood I am alone.  And who listens?  The selfhood I am alone.  Where’s another?  I am her because the Self is itself and there is no other.  The meek of myself needs spiritual exercises maybe only for the shortest time.  The journal is a spiritual exercise.  Keeping the journal is a spiritual exercise but it’s needed only for the shortest time.  The meek and the childlike of myself do not have to struggle to understand the intricacies and paradoxes of being.  That battle has already been fought and won. As I sit down with pencil and paper I have good tidings to tell the children of myself, that a simple harmony and a happy perfection are here now living as this life we are.  Binding up the old thinks broken-hearted followers, awakening enthusiasm within the husks, elevating thought from struggle and apprehension and morbidity and death into the conscious awareness of eternal Life.  The message that says, “turn within”, this message proclaims liberty to all and it delivers, it delivers, by George, it delivers.  This message has one turn within and discover the Godhead, primal word from which identity and all tangibility flow. 



An old man by the name of Shirpee Hawn (phonetic) was a venerated Daoism sage with whom I happened to live in China for nearly three years.  Oh, what a grand fortune that was.  He told me once, “the song one sings to himself is carried around the world” and when I asked him how he told me “perhaps by the whispering trees and the nightingale”  So, if our words are carried around the world, hadn’t we best start to examine them, to look at them?  How better than by keeping a journal with thoughts and ideas.



Well, there you go, I’ve said it, as best I could again.  I might mention two or three little thoughts that come in passing.  I just had a letter from a lady with whom I’ve studied much over the years and she said, ‘spiritual exercises never appealed to me but now I see, now I’m forced to admit that my life has been the open Sesame, the avenue to self-discovery.  I might add that that lady has published her fourth or fifth book.  Another gentleman I’m thinking of has published at least two books and has others soon to be published or awaiting publication, and he said that his most joyful time is the time he sits to be still and write in his journal.  I know of another lovely lady who was told these things 15 years ago and today she is editor of a publication of truth and I know many others who are now published writers, all began with a journal with their own thoughts and ideas rather than the words of others.  So, if fruitage is the proof, we’ve a whole tree of delicious apples.  Maybe I should say peaches instead of apples.  And since that can be misconstrued too, how about oranges instead of peaches.



One more thought, it seems very important to me about your journal keeping. It isn’t necessary to write religious things in it…it isn’t necessary to fill it with all metaphysical stuff.  We write what is worthy of God, which includes beauty, tenderness, joy.  So, we can write of the twinkle in somebody’s eye that we’ve seen, two elderly people holding hands in the park - what a joyful site that is, children tumbling in the park, redwoods blooming in the spring.  Light, light shining through the wings of a butterfly.  What can be more worthy than that, what is more worthy of the ineffable Godhead than to speak of beauty and joy and uprightness and love ?  So the journal becomes a joy when we don’t have to put the clinical antiseptic terms of metaphysics, but not ignoring our metaphysics either, writing what science allows us to write.  Well, almost 40 years of journal keeping has allowed me to learn lots of little secrets that I can tell you but I save that for our face-to-face discussions.  Tangible how-to-do-its are explained here on this tape but there are many others that I’d be happy to talk about when we  meet face-to-face.









My Ugly Duckling Profile



 At approximately 35 years of age, I became the single parent of my two children.  Financially, my status didn’t change significantly.  I was very happy with my choice of career.  It was very interesting and fulfilling and provided for a comfortable lifestyle for our family.  I expected the status quo to continue, thereby envisioning a bright future for myself and the children.

           
 For a few years we seemed to be heading in the right direction, at least financially, until I was faced with a serious health problem. Little did I realize I had taken my first step down Poverty Lane !  When I could no longer perform the duties of my chosen profession, many life changes were gradually forced upon me.  I went from a house to a condo to rental property and then came the ultimate humiliation the day the word “housing” appeared as part of my address. I was now living in subsidized housing.  I had done everything and anything, from home care to scrubbing toilets to keep bread on the table.  My material possessions were pared down to bare essentials.  I was now riding transit wearing the hideous stigma of poverty with all its degrading labels of loser, low-life et al… attached to the ‘handouts’.  I was stripped of my dignity as well as my material possessions. I had let my children down and I felt that I was an embarrassment to my family.   I was feeling so alone, forlorn, abandoned even in a crowd. I felt hurt, frightened, confused, guilty, ashamed, and envious of the picture-perfect lives of those who appeared to have the world by the tail.


This is the child that William Samuel describes as “the child who is two days old and full of trouble”, the one who does not know its own Heart, the child who has solely reason and logic to rely on.  It lives a life of limitation, condemned to struggle and strife and eventual death. 






My Swan Profile



Since this is a blog and not a book I will just state that my path of self-discovery took many twists and turns and finally lead to the wisdom of William Samuel and his introduction to the Child within.  What really knocked my socks off was the following quote:


 “We are talking bout the honest message, the honest truth message.  The honest truth message, as we said, lies in one that turns one to discover himself within, one that turns one within where the real discoveries are made, to turn within to the secret place, to the holy of holies, to the Shekina and there find the true message.  The beauty of such a message, it seems to me, lies in its fulfilling the function of way showing but doing it void of theory, void of speculation or commentary and it’s a message that doesn’t bind the seeker, it doesn’t induce guilt nor encourage the veneration of the messenger or the messenger’s words.  The childlikeness of such a message encourages one to find the beauty and power and the wonder of his own words and to express the discovered life within.  Such is the work the Child does.  The place is within…”


I will post more of this quote on my next post but suffice it to say that that was the master key that opened the door to the buried treasure within and the birth of the “Swan”.  Each and every insight, each glimmer of truth from within can prove itself true as it can and is most assuredly IS put to the test.

The better acquainted I become with the Swan the calmer I feel. My world becomes more and more tranquil, more joyful, more peaceful regardless of circumstances.
The ugly duckling was a divisive judge (the tree of good and evil).  The swan is not happy because my world is good but my world is good because I am good.   

Now, for a short illustration of the ugly duckling and the swan in regards to the stigma of poverty.


 The ugly duckling is a judge - a perception of good and evil...a distortion that comes about because the intellect cannot see beyond the tangible. It cannot see or understand what only the Heart can see. The ugly duckling is polarizing, divisive and puts the donor on a pedestal and the receiver in the gutter.

The ugly duckling’s experience is the 'donation' that is made with a tax receipt in mind or at best, out of pity... that pumps up the ego and puts the recipient on the degrading, demeaning, destructive pitiful beggar, bum, loser, worthless, lazy, dredge of society, burden on the taxpayer list.


 The swan is like a tree abounding with fruit, it has no choice but to give… if no one picks its fruit, it drops it to the ground or it will become barren.  The tree does not die, it lives forever through its seed.  Likewise, the Heart of Love overflows with love and gratitude, is forever and can never be depleted.  It blesses the recipient and in so doing it blesses itself.  It is its very nature to share its bounty with dignity and grace.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014



 The Happy Child

The happy, contented, vibrant Child holds my hand ever so tenderly. It makes my heart sing with genuine happiness, gratitude and joy, not at all like when I was a little girl.  I was born an ‘ugly duckling’.  William Samuel pointed me to the Child within and I discovered the beautiful swan I truly am.  Nothing much has changed insofar as the human scene is concerned.  If anything, the scene is more challenging than ever but I found the meaning of being in this world and not of it.  It means living in the Meadow without the shadows of the adult world.
I will recount a bit of the drama of yesterday to illustrate what I’m talking about.

I rely on a cell phone for emergency purposes and had to make some changes to the service before going anywhere.  Took care of that (or so I thought) and went on to my appointment.  Must mention that I am using crutches as I’m waiting for a hip replacement and going through a lot of pain.  I called a taxi from home and it all worked out beautifully.



 The appointment over with, I have to get down the stairs.  Managed that all right and thought I would sit on the steps to wait for a taxi so I could admire the beautiful garden on the premises.  Lo and behold, my cell phone is NOT working.  To make my way back to the office I just left would be too much of a challenge.  I have a nice young friend who is the owner of a lovely ladies’ wear shop just down the street so I walk over there hoping she can call a taxi.  The shop is closed but there is a young lady standing in front of it.  She calls a taxi for me and she leaves but the taxi does not arrive!

 
Soon Melanie returns from her lunch break and is appalled to see me with crutches!  “I’ll drive you home” she says, “my car is right there”!  As we approach the car we notice that she is parked alongside a huge elm tree surrounded with wonderful huge, colorful flower baskets and all that is blocking the car door.  What to do?  The car is sandwiched between two other cars.  An angel appears, a nice young man who lives in the beautiful house we’re standing in front of.  He happily clears the way for us, humming as he goes about the task.  These two angels are thinking of every little detail to make things easier for me.  I am reminded of a biblical passage :

 
He will give His angels charge concerning you,
To guard you in all your ways.
They will bear you up in their hands,
That you do not strike your foot against a stone.




When I got home I was suddenly aware of the ugly duckling and the swan.  My memory flashed back to the days when accepting help from anyone would have been degrading, disgraceful, humiliating – a sign of weakness.  I didn’t know what I was missing.

The beautiful swan knows how to do both, she has learned how to give and gives generously but lo and behold, she has also learned to receive.  It became so clear that giving and receiving are one, that we truly are the conduit for God to be made manifest.

Giving with no strings attached – no “I scratch your back and you scratch mine”, no hidden agenda, no display of grandeur is true giving and is a blessing and a joy to receive. It does not belittle the recipient but fills the heart with love and gratitude.  Melanie did it all with such dignity and grace from the kindness of her heart.  Bless her sweet soul!


Peace and beauty already cover the whole surface of the earth but men see it not!  I cannot pick and choose, “this is good, this is bad…this is nice, this is ugly…”  Without the pain and suffering I would still be blind, struggling and stuck!  I live and play and sing and dance in the Child’s Meadow relishing the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’, immersed in love and gratitude for all the blessings, the wonder of God’s all-inclusive Love.

 

Up the Stairs with Crutches






I use the back entrance to my apartment building because it shortcuts most of my outings. I’m holding one crutch in one hand and the second crutch sideways in the same hand and climbing those five or six steps with a bag of groceries draped over my neck and I’m feeling very tired. I’m inching my way up when my Heart softly reminds me: "I will never leave you". The feeling, the experience is indescribable. There is an unimaginable calmness. It is magical, awesome, ethereal. A calmness and sense of all-rightness floods my whole being. I cannot earn or deserve this precious gift; I cannot give it to anyone because It is the very essence of my being. It is the Child Heart that is my living soul - the precious necklace that the ISIS warrior with the sharp sword in hand is fighting for but doesn’t know that it already hangs upon his neck.

About Me


I was born with a congenital dislocated hip – hence the “ugly duckling” analogy.  I must say that the children around me didn’t make a big deal of it and my parents did their best to try and fit the square peg into the round hole.   I recall playing ball in the backyard and my mother giving us all instructions that I could bat the ball and if I recall correctly, I could run to first base and someone else was appointed to run the rest of the way for me.  I went roller skating and oh was it fun when there was someone there to hold me up!  I learned to dance and that was the joy of my life!



One episode that is indelible in my mind took place on a cold icy winter day on the way to school.  A bunch of kids were walking to school and I was having a very hard time catching up but I was determined to keep going.  When we came to a hilly area (yes…can you believe it, on the flat terrain of Manitoba) it was very slippery and somehow I got left behind.  I was on all fours, close to panicking but determined to do this on my own.  I would manage one step up and slide down a little further.  The rest of the episode is somewhat foggy.  I believe that one of the neighbors saw me and came to my rescue.




The Hip has been my protagonist; it has held center stage in my life from day one to this very day and I now realize that it has been the harbinger of Light and Truth and Love and Peace and Wisdom at every stage of my life.  The ugly duckling made the Light of Truth shine so intensely through the darkness.  I once thought that if I found the Child my tangible world would be transformed, health and wealth and perfect relationships would ensue.  For me this hasn’t been so but from the bottom of my heart I can say that the adversities of life do not even cast a shadow on the beauty, the tender feelings, the serenity and the Joy of Being.






Since the purpose of my blog is to present my venture and adventure into self-discovery and coming Home to that aspect of my Self that is my joyful Child Heart, I believe this should suffice to set a basis for how I chose to present myself .




I would also like to share that I could never ever have come anywhere near this discovery without William Samuel and Sandy Jones. They had and have it right.  They so lovingly pointed me in the right direction but I had to find my own way Home.  To Bill and to Sandy, thank you ever so much.  I love you to the moon and back.